Kids and online games: stop judging and start parenting
Originally published in the Sydney Morning Herald here
Most of what kids do online is scoffed at by adults, but this comes with a catch. Take watching other people play video games online. Despite most adults scratching their heads wondering how this could possibly be interesting, latest figures by Google show that in 2020, one hundred billion hours was spent watching gaming content on YouTube. You can travel to Neptune and back 475000 times in that time.
Kids' make up the bulk of viewers with favourites videogames scoring highest viewing hours including Minecraft with 201 billion views and Roblox with 75 billion views.
I research with kids and talk to them about it. For them it’s much like watching their favourite sport star on the field. They enjoy the skill and the commentary that goes along with it. They might watch a top video-gaming star or just someone having a go at live streaming their game play. It’s like us watching “The Voice”, or any competitive TV program. Watching other people’s skill level and making comparisons can be entertaining and interesting. Kids tell me that old people watch sport on TV, young people watch gaming videos.
Our judgmental stance doesn’t just stop at gaming videos. We think their use of social media is a waste of time, we fob off their incessant group chat, and shake our head at those never ending TikTok videos. A report by Common Sense media indicates that teens spend most of their waking day - more than 7 hours - on screens for entertainment.
This is not a discussion about screentime. This is a discussion about not sticking our head in the sand so that we can provide guidance that is meaningful when they are online. So that we can be good parents.
The implications of dismissing what they do as a waste of time results in little understanding by adults of what kids actually do online and why. We show minimal interest yet we expect kids to listen to us when we advise them on what to do online. We have little understanding of their online activities yet expect our advice to be accepted by them as meaningful and relevant.
There has always been the generational power play between adults and kids, however that doesn’t mean this is the best way. With children spending so much of their time online for entertainment ‘knowing’ this side of their life is important on so many levels. It’s how we genuinely keep them safe. Without it we are making rules and decisions in the dark. It’s how we build a meaningful and trusting bond with them. We need to be interested and attentive to all aspects of their life, not just when they are offline. Kids can see right through us.
We mightn’t want to watch gaming video or TikTok videos with them but at least we can take the time to understand their interest in them. We parent the whole child, not just the offline part of them. It’s a new year and time for new and attitude around how we guide our kids online.
